Look, We Get It. You Like Feeling Exotic! But We Gotta Tell Ya…This Whole Thing About Wanting To Get Plastic Surgery To Make Yourself Look Like A Big Cat…We’Re Not Big Fans Of It. Sure, It’S Your Life, Your Face…But We Just Have A Feeling That, Kind Of Like That Tweety Bird Tattoo You Got On Your Shoulder Senior Year Of High School, You Might End Up Living To Regret It.
So Instead Of Spending All Of Your Savings On A Series Of Non-Medically-Necessary Cosmetic Procedures, Let’S Think Of Some Other, Less-Insane-Sounding Routes That Will Help Give You That Satisfying Feeling Of Aligning With Your Supposed Spirit Animal, Shall We?
For Instance, We Have This Sexy Wild Tiger Costume That Just Might Be The Ticket. The Tiger Print Jumpsuit Has Long Sleeves And A Scoop Neck, Giving You That Long, Lean Body Line That You Love So Much. It’S Also Made From 88% Polyester 12% Spandex Stretch Knit, So It Will Move With You When You’Re Slinking Around. It’S Even Got A Soft Moveable Tail Attached In The Back, And It Comes With A Tiger Print Headband With Attached Cat Ears…So You Can Even Pretend To Be A Tiger Without People Thinking You’Ve Lost All Your Marbles (At The Most, They’Ll Probably Think You’Ve Just Come From A Matinee Performance Of “Cats: The Musical”, Which Either Will Go A Long Way In Improving Their Opinion Of You, Or It Won’T…It Mainly Depends On How They Feel About Andrew Lloyd Webber). Add Your Own Black Thigh-High Boots Or Kitten Heels (Get It?) To Complete Your Feline Look. Roar!
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